By Annie Foskett Jul 6, Dating in gets a bad rap.
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Using app algorithms to find human connection is tricky, and "human connection," means different things to different people. My dad recently admitted to me that he thought dating apps were like the now-defunct Craiglist "Personal Ads" page, specifically, the "Seeking Casual Sex" portion.
Which is why he'd looked so horrified any time my brother or I mentioned using them. Different people use dating apps in different ways, depending on what they're looking for. So what do you put on your dating app bio if you want a relationship?
I co-host a podcast about datingand our listeners write in about dating qualms, bad date stories, and more. With every email about anxious overthinking, blatant ghosting, or a situationship troubles, there seems to be one piece of advice that applies to all situations: make sure you communicate what you want.
Or what I like to call, "Say it, don't spray it.
It's scary AF, but it will save you time and tears in the long run. If there's one piece of relationship advice I could go back and give my recently graduated, year-old self, it would be to ask for what I want. This is why I don't think it's a bad idea to make it clear from the get-go that you're not looking for a casual hookup on your dating app bio.
However, I have to admit that when I read a profile that says "Serious relationships only," I feel a weird pressure to not disappoint a stranger who I haven't even been on one date with — eek!
My general philosophy when it comes to online dating is to take it one date at a time, and to try not to expect to find the love of your life on a first date.
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That's usually just physical chemistry anyways. Putting pressure on yourself to have a sixth sense for knowing what a person will be like in person after messaging them on an app for a while is all too much, and bound to lead to disappointment.
Don’t know what to write in your online dating profile? Try this., Alexandra Franzen
So while it's incredibly important to communicate what you want early in a relationship, if you're going to be explicit and put what you are looking for on your dating app profile, keep it light. So, if you're swiping and on the apps looking for a relationship, it's really smart to make that clear early on.
Throwing that out there on your dating profile is a great way to cut through all of the BS you're not interested in, but you can also wait and mention that after you see how the first date actually goes.
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And if you're going to put "Looking for a relationship," on your profile? So please, if you give it a go, let me know how it works out.